How to take action in spite of fear - The fear-setting exercise
Estimated reading time: 6-7 minutes
This is part 2 of the series on How to make life changing decisions in spite of fear
In part one, I went over my framework to make the right decisions. In this article, I’ll walk you through the second and final step before taking action. I’ll show you how to face your fears with an effective fear-setting exercise.
Context in case you didn’t read part one of this series: Back when I was 21 years old, I faced three career paths:
I could try to grind it out in the American Hockey League and hope to eventually make it to the National Hockey League
I could abandon my dream of being a pro hockey player and focus on my studies instead. I had full scholarship offers from some of the top universities in Canada.
I could abandon my dream and refuse a full scholarship to become an entrepreneur
Against my mom’s wishes, I risked it all to become an entrepreneur. Back then, in 2012, entrepreneurship wasn’t as popular as it is today. Where I lived at least. All my friends who weren’t trying to become NHL players were going to university and getting secure jobs that paid well.
How could I refuse a full scholarship, which would translate to a secure job, and risk it all to become an entrepreneur?
Time Ferriss’ modified fear-setting exercise
Thanks to Tim Ferriss’ book The 4-Hour Workweek, I was equipped with a set of questions to help me face my fears.
Here’s a slightly modified version of his fear-setting exercise:
Open up a Google Doc or whatever tool you use to write and make sure you can have uninterrupted time. Think about whatever your fear is and answer the following questions:
What’s the absolute worst thing that could happen?
How can I prevent it from happening?
If the absolute worst thing happened, what could I do to get back to my current situation, the one I’m in right not not having taken any action?
If the absolute worst thing happened, would I have learned something useful?
What does facing my fear and succeeding look like?
How will I feel in 5 or 10 years if I don’t take this risk?
In my case of refusing a full scholarship to become an entrepreneur, it looked like this:
1. What’s the absolute worst thing that could happen?
I could fail as an entrepreneur and wake up one day as a 30-year old with a bunch of failures on my record and without a university degree to fall back on.
1.1 How can I prevent it from happening?
There are a few things I could do:
I could study hundreds of business success stories as well as failures and learn from people who have gone through what I’m about to do.
I could keep my personal expenses very low, not putting myself in a position where my company needs to pay me a 100k salary.
I could get a part-time job that covered all my fixed expenses. This would allow me to not draw a salary from my startups and reinvest all our capital in growing the business.
I could work every minute of every day until I succeeded. A lot of people won’t resonate with this point, but it is an option when you don’t have a plan B.
Although these ideas didn’t guarantee I would succeed, they sure reduced the risk of the worst-case scenario happening. And I followed through on all of them:
I read hundreds of business books, listened to hundreds of podcasts, and watched hours of business interviews on YouTube.
I didn’t have a fancy car (I still don’t), I ate at the restaurant at most 3 times per year for 8 years, and I didn’t buy expensive clothes or jewelry. I didn’t buy a house until I was 30 years old (and I was financially successful at that point).
I worked as a construction worker for 2 years and then as a model for 7 years. I didn’t pay myself a salary until my 6th year in business (year two of my third company, the two first having failed).
I worked like a maniac until I succeeded. The good part is that it didn't feel like work for the first 5 years. The excitement of building businesses was so high that I didn’t ever feel the need to go out or to take fancy vacations.
2. If the absolute worst thing happened, what could I do to get back to my current situation, the one I’m in right not not having taken any action?
I was a 21-year old without a university degree. If the worst thing happened, I would be a 30-year old without a university degree. I would be back to my current situation by default and I could start university at that point.
3. If the absolute worst thing happened, would I have learned something useful?
Yes. I’m certain I would learn a heck of a lot more about business by starting companies and failing at them rather than sitting in class half listening to some theory that might be outdated by the time I get out of college.
4. What does facing my fear and succeeding look like?
I would be a successful entrepreneur that creates value for my employees, our customers, and for our planet. I’d be able to buy or build the house that I want, drive the car that I want, order food at the restaurant without looking at the price list. I’b be financially free and get to a point where I can delegate and spend more time with my family than if I was an employee.
5. How will I feel in 5 or 10 years if I don’t take this risk?
I will feel like a coward in 10 years looking back if I didn’t even give it a shot. I also won’t perform as much as an employee because I will always wonder ‘what if’.
Our fears usually aren’t that scary when we put them down on paper. The risks tend to be quite low and the odds of the absolute worst-case scenario happening tend to be slim. And the last question always gets me. I never want to feel like a coward for not having tried.
Bonus tip - live in the shoes of your decision
Another great tool I discovered is to pretend you made a decision and spend a few days or weeks living that life. How does it feel? Do you feel inspired when you wake up? Are you anxious?
For instance, when I pondered on whether or not I should start a newsletter (see my newsletter here), the first step was to ask myself the right questions. The second step was to face my fears with the exercise above. The third and final step before fully committing was to ‘quality-check’ my decision by living in the shoes of the person I would be having moved forward.
This meant that I started doing everything I would do having decided to move forward with the newsletter. I started a document to dump all my ideas. Then I started converting some of these ideas into newsletters. I started playing around with my website and email newsletter platform.
I did all the actions I would do having committed to the decision, but I didn’t commit. I was only testing the waters to see how it felt. It felt AWESOME! I started waking up before my alarm clock.
I decided to give the test two more weeks to let the excitement of the first few days go by. I fell back into a healthier sleep routine, but I still woke up full of energy before my alarm clock on most mornings.
I didn’t have to live in the shoes of the other scenario because it was status quo, meaning I would simply not change anything in my life.
This or that types of decisions
To add more meat to this bonus tip, let’s pretend I was hesitating between starting a newsletter or a Vlog. For one to three weeks I would have lived in the shoes of myself with a newsletter. Then I would have stopped the newsletter to try vlogging for one to three weeks.
In either scenario, I wouldn’t have posted anything online, so it’s not 100% accurate. I would argue that might be better. Not posting online removes the encouragement that might come from initial traction, or the discouragement of the lack of traction. There’s something to be said for making decisions based on the input (the work) and not the output (the metrics such as views and likes).
Having lived in both decisions, it’s much easier to make the right call. Simply listen to your body. How do you feel in one of the scenarios? Are you waking up way before your alarm clock because you’re inspired? Are you going to bed excited for the next day? Your body is a great way to help guide you towards the right decision.
From “F**k it, let’s roll the dice” to a comprehensive framework to make the right decisions and face your fears
I came a long way from my ‘f**k it, let’s roll the dice’ days. Here’s a summary of the three steps discussed so far to make the right decision:
Spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about the right questions to ask instead of spending all that time trying to answer the question ‘what should I do?’.
Do the fear-setting exercise above.
(optional) Quality-check your decision before fully committing to it.
There’s a quote I really like about spending a disproportionate amount of time on preparation/planning before executing a task:
“If I only had an hour to chop down a tree, I would spend the first 45 minutes sharpening my axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
It applies very well to decision-making:
If I only had an hour to make the right decision, I would spend the first 45 minutes thinking about the right questions to ask myself.
Did you like this post? To receive a very short email with such perspective, sign up to my newsletter. You’ll receive one learning/discovery, one question, and one workout every two weeks.
